Parenting Pressures

The pressures of parenting arise for every parent at different times and for different reasons. The first time it occurs for most parents is in pregnancy. The thoughts of, can I eat this or that and if I do will it affect my baby? Will people judge me for doing this or that while I am pregnant? Will I have drugs during labor or will I not? Then after baby is here will I breastfeed or bottle feed? Co-sleep or do cry it out method, no matter what we choose we feel will be judged on how we do it. What is the ‘right’ answer to all of these questions and how do we handle it as parents?

Then as kids grow into toddlers and they are demanding, fussy, sleepy, sick, hungry, whatever the reason they are in need of our attention it can be so very stressful. If my child is throwing a tantrum in public, people will judge how we handle the situation, they will assume he is a spoiled brat to be acting that way. When we give in and buy him a cookie to get him to calm down so we can get our shopping done in peace, eyes will be watching…

Then kids grow more and can be so snotty in front of grandparents, forget to use their manners at the dinner table and fight with their siblings. You are at your wits end so you give them their electronics so you don’t have to yell at them again, you just want to enjoy a nice meal you didn’t have to cook. But you can’t help but wonder who is watching this behavior and what are they thinking.

Then the kids turn into teenagers and you find out they are failing science class and cannot play in their ball game that night. How do you explain to the other parents why your kid is sitting on the bench? What will they think of you as a parent?

There is no ‘right’ answer to any of the challenges of parenthood. How you choose to feed, sleep and raise your child is up to you. We all do things differently and our kids need different treatment. We have no need to judge another parent because they are doing the best that they can. When we see those tantrums happen in the grocery store, we know we have been there. Just last week I was walking through the grocery store while Finn screamed in the cart. I just smiled at everyone we walked by, like ‘sorry you have to hear this’ but I wasn’t going to give in to him so I let him scream. I am empathetic to the mothers I see struggling with a handful of little’s, I just think, girl I have been there. All parents make different decisions for their children but I know for myself that I am doing what I think is best for my family. So why would someone judge me for that? I think we need to remember not to judge and rather offer some love, support and encouragement for that struggling mother.

The only ‘solution’ I have to all of this is that if we just love our kids every day, do our best as parents every day, then we are doing what is right for us. All kids go through ages and stages in different ways. If we provide them love, support and positive affirmations, while we are doing our best to make it through this thing called parenting, then we have to trust they will turn out okay. Every individual has their own personality and will turn into the adults they are going to be no matter what. So at the end of the day no matter which age/stage you are struggling with as a parent just remind yourself that you are doing your best, therefore you are doing the right thing for your family.

With Love,

Brooke Elizabeth